


Ever Since We Met

by Katraa



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Angst, Lots of Angst, M/M, Post-Game, and eventual fluff, be warned there is angst, memory loss au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-19
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-16 06:25:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1335364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katraa/pseuds/Katraa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His heart simultaneously melts and breaks all at once and before he knows it he's at Aoba's bedside, leaning over to brush his bangs back to kiss his forehead.  He isn't able to stop himself, the habit being hard to break.  He's never left Aoba's side before without kissing him goodbye - it's usually just like this, especially at work, since Aoba gets shy over public displays of affection.   That, and their kisses tend to go on forever.   But when his lips touch Aoba's forehead he feels guilty and torn up and quickly steps back.</p><p>(memory loss au)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yesterday](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yesterday/gifts).



> Was inspired by [this](http://gumbydemographics.tumblr.com/post/79934154925/au-where-aoba-gets-into-an-accident-and-has) post on tumblr for a memory loss au!
> 
> it'll follow a kind of similar storyline!!! thanks for the wonderful inspiration!
> 
> also this is for you amy because i know how much you love MEMORY LOSS. ilu. teehee.

Hospitals were no stranger to him. Ever since he could walk he had been a frequent visitors of the sterile white walls. The scenery changed over time, from large and open halls back in Germany to cramped and modern corridors of Japan. He lost count how many times he had had a thin hospital bracelet strapped on his right wrist but he was certain it was nearing fifty. At the very least. Childhood injuries and continued squabbles in Japan led to numerous visits that consisted of stitches, antibiotics and the occasional overnight stay. The nurses were always abnormally sweet and the doctors prickly and distant. Noiz often preferred the doctors since he didn't need to fake a smile or respond to pointless conversation. Now, with only a stoic doctor that barely cast him a look, he would have traded all of his glares at the nice nurses for one right now.

They had been in Germany for a little over a year before _it_ happened. Noiz had managed to snag Aoba a part-time position as a receptionist at Klaus's company. Aoba was regarded warmly and it was excessively often that Noiz caught sight of his brother nosing around Aoba's desk asking if he was comfortable, if he needed anything, and if he was adjusting properly. It was a stark contrast to the cold reception Noiz's parents had given Aoba despite their growing, returning affection for Noiz himself. Klaus insisted that Mother and Father would get used to Aoba in time and that they would grow to love him (but never nearly as much as Noiz, Klaus would prod teasingly, since when Noiz looked at Aoba it was as if nothing else mattered or ever _would_ ). Noiz didn't particularly care if he ever received his parent's blessing but it worried Aoba. Perhaps it was because of how close Noiz and Tae had grown in that year and a half since they met or maybe it was because Aoba had never been able to grow close to his parents in his adulthood. Either way, Noiz stuck it out and quietly hoped that the pair of movers and shakers would warm up to the addition to the family.

It wasn't technical, though. Noiz had mulled over the idea of marriage. Aoba was adjusting nicely and after a year was able to hold a decent conversation in German (not without a Japanese accent, which Noiz thought was the most endearing thing he had ever had the opportunity to listen to). Now would be a ripe time to propose, all things considered, but he was hesitant. Marriage meant a great deal and it meant being linked to Aoba forever. On his end he knew his feelings were concrete, true, forever and that the burning fire he felt deep inside of him for Aoba, _because of Aoba_ , would never extinguish. And it wasn't that he doubted Aoba's love everytime they bumped foreheads and kissed, eyelashes getting tangled up since Noiz had obnoxiously long ones… it was just that Aoba was young, he was young, and he was terrified of Aoba growing up without him and wanting something more. He knew better than to ever voice it aloud.

So instead he put his all into making them comfortable in Germany in a cute apartment with the best technology on the market to keep Aoba in constant contact with his friends and family from back home - and yes, regrettably, Koujaku, too.

It was all going well before _it_ happened.

"Noiz, it seems that Aoba's vitals are stabilizing and he is leaving REM."

Ren sits at the edge of the uncomfortable hospital bed, tail swishing with the finish of his sentence. Noiz sits on the edge of his chair, body barely touching the scratchy fabric, eyes sharp on the sleeping body across the room. When he hears Ren he slowly tips his head forward in a halfhearted nod. He can barely hear over the pounding and rushing of blood in his ears. His hands are shaking and he hasn't slept in the past four days. It's probably unhealthy if the stinging in his eyes is any indication. 

"Noiz! Noiz!"

The usagimodoki clammer around at Noiz's feet, bumping into each other occasionally as they project a screen in front of their owner. Noiz regards it lazily, looking at the charts and numbers he doesn't understand. He's asked them and Ren to keep tabs on Aoba's condition even though he relies solely on the cold doctor's word to _understand_.

"Aoba is stirring, Aoba is stirring!"

Noiz doesn't need them to tell him that. His breath hitches, brows furrow together, and he leans forward even further. He nearly falls off the chair. 

Aoba's eyes flutter open with effort. Pretty hazel eyes that haven't seen the light of day since last Thursday take in his surroundings slowly as if waking from a living dream. There's heaviness in those eyes and a heaviness Noiz knows all too well. 

"Aoba," Noiz begins, breath hitching, voice shaky, entire body trembling. He's been so _terrified_ the past few days and now Aoba is awake, is okay, is fine and he wants to cry. He doesn't get why his eyes are stinging with wetness now, why he's going to cry because he's _happy_ but he figures Aoba can explain it to him some other time.

"Aoba," Ren echoes, relief evident in the mechanical voice.

"Hey, Ren…" Aoba says with effort, resisting a groan. His voice is raw and he coughs afterward. He tries to lift his hand to brush through the soft fur of his AllMate but he decides against it when an intolerable amount of pain shoots up from him, eyes screwing shut.

"Aoba, don't strain yourself," Noiz says, rising from his seat to stand at the edge of the bed. He's about to walk closer, to take Aoba's hand and press a kiss to the back of it, to his forehead, to his eyelids and cheeks and lips and tell him how much he _loves_ him and how sorry he is that he wasn't there to prevent the accident and that he'll try harder from now on, that he'll stop working such later hours and that he'll be the best boyfriend possible for Aoba, because damn it Aoba deserves it and he _loves_ him and Noiz is still struggling to understand the world and by god he _needs_ him --

Until he meets Aoba's gaze and there isn't a lick of recognition.

"I'm sorry… who are you?" Aoba manages a weak smile and chokes back a cough. "Are you one of my doctors….?"

Noiz's world collides in on itself and he sits back down before he realizes what he's doing. There's a dropping of _something_ in his gut that he hasn't felt since hearing about the accident. "Aoba?" 

"Yeah… that's my name, right? Sorry, my head really hurts," Aoba whispers and manages to lift his right hand up to his forehead. He winces again and coughs. Apparently it's enough to stir the attention of the doctor as he steps inside the hospital room and regards the pair with an indifferent stare.

"Seragaki Aoba. Welcome back to the world of the waking," the doctor says dryly in German. 

Noiz barely hears him as he leans back - nearly collapses - back against the chair and stares at Aoba uncertainly. It's just a mistake, right? There's no possible way…

"How long was I out for?" Aoba murmurs in Japanese and then looks down at Ren. He realizes belatedly that he's switched between tongues and _understands_ whatever language the man in the doctor's coat has been speaking. "…Where am I?" 

"I don't quite understand," the doctor says and turns his attention to Noiz seeking translation.

Noiz doesn't notice and clasps his hands together in his lap. He uses them as a support, hiding his face in them as he sucks in shaky, deep breaths. He has to believe in Aoba. He has to believe that Aoba was just waking from a terrible, terrible nightmare and he's recovering. That's what it has to be.

"Sir?"

"Sorry," Noiz mumbles and flicks his gaze weakly over to the doctor. "He said he doesn't know where he is or how long he was asleep for."

"Ah," the German doctor says, taking note of it on his little clipboard. "Typical of a patient that has suffered such trauma."

"Is Aoba okay? Okay?" 

The usagimodoki are acting up again and hop up on their owner's lap concernedly. One cube takes it upon itself to hop up and nudge Noiz's cheek in a desperate attempt to show affection. It partially works.

"I'll leave you two alone as we run some tests to see if he is well enough to admit from the hospital," the doctor begins again, cutting through Noiz's thoughts. Desperately he looks over to him, as if to tell him to stay, that he needs more time to think and get a grip before he's confronted with reality again. His mouth opens and no words come out. The doctor quirks a brow. "Sir?"

"He doesn't know who I am," Noiz says in an empty voice and it sounds like a teenager stuck without the ability to feel pain all over again.

"Come again?"

Noiz doesn't realize he's speaking Japanese until he's asked in German what he said. There's panic setting in because he hears Aoba make an uneasy noise at that statement. Biting down on his lip Noiz shrugs and repeats what he said in German.

There's heavy silence. Everyone is on the same page. The doctor straightens and then quickly jots down a few more notes. "So amnesia, then. The accident must have caused more brain trauma than previously assumed. I'll get him in for some scans to confirm this."

Noiz doesn't want to hear this. He doesn't want to hear about medical jargon and about tests and all that shit. All he wants to hear is if Aoba will remember him or not. If this is permanent. If he's losing the one person that's grounded him over all these years. His stomach knots.

"Sir?" the doctor asks again.

"Sorry, what?" Noiz mumbles, looking up.

"I asked for you to leave as we bring him to the tests."

"Oh. Right."

"Visiting hours will be over shortly, and since you're not blood-related or legally bound--"

"Yeah, I know. I'm leaving."

Noiz stiffens as he grabs his coat. He's barely able to walk across the room, not meeting Aoba's gaze. There's that heaviness again and the doctor for the first time since Aoba's stay hesitates. He lifts up to push his glasses further back on his face, clears his throat, and speaks up.

"I'll leave you two alone for a few minutes and will return to pick him up."

He leaves in a haste.

Noiz is left lingering by the door to the hospital room. His heart is pounding, his palms are sweating, and both Ren and the bunny cubes are hovering by his feet. Ren seems a bit lost and the cubes just seem hyper and unnerved. Noiz is a mix of all those things and he wants to lay down and fall asleep and pretend this isn't happening.

"Hey, uh," Aoba begins, clearing his throat. He doesn't sound as rough and weak as before.

Noiz doesn't have the heart to look over at him right now. He waits for Aoba to continue.

"We know each other, right? I mean, we must, since you're here, that's a stupid question," Aoba whispers, biting down on his lip. He reaches up to hold his head, feeling pain again. "I-- I feel like I should apologize to you. I'm sorry."

"Get better," Noiz says rather weakly.

"Yeah I… I want that, too," Aoba says with a weak smile through it all, clenching at the hospital sheets with his free hand. Ren has joined his side again and snuggles up against his owner's side, reassured that Noiz isn't leaving without saying goodbye.

"I'll be back tomorrow."

"…Thanks," Aoba feels obligated to say, feels glad that someone is here with him and he isn't alone in this strange country. 

"Of course," Noiz says. It's almost bitter but it's not aimed at Aoba. He could never feel bitter towards that special person. "It's Noiz, by the way."

"Noiz," Aoba repeats, the word tickling his lips, making them tingle. "Thanks, Noiz."

Noiz shifts awkwardly as he puts on his coat. "Don't strain yourself talking, brat. I'll be back in the morning to pick you up."

"Hey, don't call me a brat!" There's a pout before he goes on, voice softer, "Pick me up, huh?"

"Yeah. To go home." 

"Home," Aoba says as he shifts back on the bed. He rests his head against the pillow, blue hair spilling everywhere. "Home. That sounds really nice right about now. I hate hospitals… Especially when I can't understand the doctors…"

"Me too," Noiz says gently and he risks a glance back at his boyfriend. His heart simultaneously melts and breaks all at once and before he knows it he's at Aoba's bedside, leaning over to brush his bangs back to kiss his forehead. He isn't able to stop himself, the habit being hard to break. He's never left Aoba's side before without kissing him goodbye - it's usually just like this, especially at work, since Aoba gets shy over public displays of affection. That, and their kisses tend to go on forever. But when his lips touch Aoba's forehead he feels guilty and torn up and quickly steps back.

"Sorry," he mumbles. He doesn't explain himself; Aoba figures.

"Get some rest, ok, Noiz?" Aoba offers rather guilty, trying his best to smile through it all as Noiz heads over to the door.

"You too." _I love you_ he adds to himself as he heads out, bunny cubes at his heels, a broken man.

***

Aoba returns home within a few days. The doctors aren't sure what's happened and they aren't sure how long it'll last, but apart from the memory loss and the few sprains he had from the accident Aoba is fine. There's no permanent damage save for a few scars and there's no reason Aoba shouldn't head home to try and recover fully. The doctors think the change of scenery will jog Aoba's stubborn memories, but then again, Aoba always has been a scientific mystery. 

Noiz tries his best not to crowd Aoba but the apartment is only so big. He's wise enough to make up the guest room for himself as not to freak Aoba out by sharing a bed with a guy he doesn't know. The first day is heavy and awkward and Aoba is more curious than anything when they return to the apartment, Ren trotting inside like he owns the place. And maybe he does.

"Ren, Ren! We missed you!" the bunny cubes exclaim, greedily hopping on the dog as he takes residency on the couch.

Noiz has just finished making the guest bed when he returns to the living room to see Aoba sitting on the floor in front of Ren, smiling at the cubes.

"Did you make these yourself?" Aoba asks, looking over his shoulder back at Noiz.

Noiz shrugs. "Kind of. I modified the model to make them more suitable for what I needed them for," he explains, not going any closer. His heart aches and all he wants to do is pull Aoba closer.

"They're cute." Aoba grins and he picks one up, talking to it before looking back over at Noiz playfully. "Too cute for such a scary looking guy," he teases.

For a moment Noiz feels as if everything is fine, everything is okay, and he cracks a tiny grin. "Scary looking, huh? And you call me a brat."

Aoba just laughs, maybe blushes, and turns back to play with the All-Mates. "So we live here?"

"Yeah," Noiz says slowly. He figures Aoba has put the pieces together about their relationship but he's too afraid to ask for confirmation. He doesn't want to scare him away, doesn't want to hurt him. He doesn't want to get hurt himself, either.

"It's nice," Aoba says, poking the top of one of the cubes. "But uh… I don't know that much German. I barely understood what they were saying back at the hospital. I'm not from here, am I?"

"No," Noiz says and he feels a very serious conversation coming on. Hesitantly he heads over to Aoba and sits on the floor beside him. "Speaking of that, I contacted Grandma and told her what happened. She's on a plane headed for here right now."

"Grandma?" Aoba wrinkles his nose. "Your grandmother?"

"No, yours," Noiz says and then flicks his gaze away. He's used to calling her that, used to being part of Aoba's life and family.

"Ah…." Aoba frowns. "It's blurry, too," he admits and looks down, petting Ren a bit slower than before as the cubes scramble around. "I barely remember my name sometimes. That's kinda sad."

"You don't remember her?" Noiz isn't sure why he feels simulatenously worse and better upon hearing that. 

"Nope. The only thing I remember is Ren… At least, pretty much. I remember Rhyme. Which is even stupider because it's just a game and I can't even remember my family and my boyfriend."

Noiz swallows, hard, and he digs his fingernails into his palm trying to keep himself calm. His boyfriend. Aoba knows they're dating. Well, it's fairly obvious and it's not like he was trying to hide it, but still. It's very strange and the year of history they have together is heavy on his shoulders and he just wants to _kiss Aoba_ and make it all better.

"You don't have to be so tense around me, y'know. I may be sick or whatever but I trust you," Aoba whispers. He licks his lips nervously and continues, "I trust you a lot and I feel safe around you."

That warms something inside Noiz and he cracks a tiny smile. "That's pretty cute…."

"H-hey!" Aoba stammers and looks over at him. His face is beet red and he's utterly flustered because there is no way that he's _cute_. "Cute kids aren't allowed to call their seniors cute!"

"So you remember you're older than me. Cool," Noiz crows, eyes brightening as he allows himself to pretend everything is fine just for now. "Do you also remember that I can kick your ass at most of the video games here?"

Aoba pouts. "Bullshit…"

"Truth," Noiz says with a laugh and he reaches out to pet Ren. "I'll order some food and challenge you right now if you're that haughty."

"Er…" Aoba hesitates again, feeling as if his bluff was just called. 

"What's wrong? Scared?"

"Never!" Aoba huffs it this time and dramatically reaches forward to shove at Noiz's arm. "Go order pizza already, you brat! I want extra pepperoni."

It's cute the bursts that Aoba remembers and Noiz feels warm down to his toes. 

Maybe everything will be okay. 

Just maybe.

At least, he'll tell himself that when he goes to bed alone later that night, in a guest room in the apartment he bought with the money he made just for himself and Aoba. He'll tell himself things will get better even as he hears Aoba's stifled sobs from the other room, wanting nothing more than to comfort him. He'll tell himself things will be better in the morning when Grandma shows up. Maybe she'll be better at getting to Aoba than Noiz is. He hopes. He prays. He's never prayed before but he's trying.

He hates sleeping alone and he knows he won't get much sleep but he tells himself he needs it for tomorrow, for Aoba. He tells himself he loves Aoba and that it'll be fine. And he tells himself that he isn't crying even as tears fall down his cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which breakfast is had, tae visits, and the verdict is in.

Breakfast is bittersweet the next morning.

Aoba stumbles into the kitchen rubbing his eyes like he always does. His shirt is riding up just a bit and he stifles a tiny yawn. His hair is an absolute mess, even after he reaches up to pull it back into a hair tie in an attempt to tame it. After a moment or two his eyes adjust to the bright light filtering in through the curtains and he looks over at Noiz. 

"Don't you have work?" Aoba asks, noticing that Noiz has a horrible case of bed-hair and is still wearing the t-shirt and sweats Aoba last saw him in.

"I'm taking some time off," Noiz answers simply and he's confident that he doesn't need to explain the reasoning.

Aoba bites his bottom lip, nods, and takes a seat at the table across from Noiz. Noiz is reading something on his coil - maybe a version of a newspaper - and Aoba leans forward a tiny bit more to see it. When he does, he's disappointed because the writing is in German and he's better at speaking it than reading or writing it. Instead of dwelling on it, Aoba flicks his gaze down to the floor, wiggling his toes.

"You don't have to take time off. I'll be fine," Aoba feels like he's obligated to say.

Noiz stiffens and there's a heavy silence that fills the small kitchen. Noiz closes the windows on his coil, the green holograms disappearing as he turns to look at Aoba. "I know," he says, frowning. "But I told Grandma I'd take care of you."

Aoba feels a blush creep up and he looks away. He's about to say something when his memory jerks and he starts up in his seat. "Wait. You said she was flying over, right?"

"Yeah. Her flight's going to be here soon."

"Oh…" Aoba's stomach knots and he looks away. "I still don't…"

 _Remember_ , Noiz finishes for Aoba in his head. He mirrors Aoba's frown and he sucks in a deep breath. For such a young brat he's having to deal with such gravity and it frightens him. Barely a year ago his biggest concern had been what Rhyme teams were trailing him in points and what places delivered to his apartment. Now, _now_ , he has a beautiful amnesiac boyfriend to fret over who quite possibly could never remember him and end up leaving him for good, back to Japan. He doesn't want to be alone again - doesn't want to be without Aoba.

"Good morning, Ren," Aoba says, breaking through the silence as the Allmate trots over to his owner. He plops down at Aoba's feet and Aoba is quick to scoop him up and bump their foreheads together.

"Good morning, Aoba. How are you feeling?" Ren asks once he is placed back down on the kitchen table. His tail wags nonetheless.

"My head doesn't hurt as much but I still don't remember anything," Aoba says with a bittersweet smile, trying not to meet Noiz's gaze. "…I'm kinda hungry, too." He sounds guilty.

"Cereal?" Noiz offers as he stands and heads over to the cabinets.

Aoba instinctively reaches out to grab at Noiz's wrist to stop him. Noiz falters when he feels the cool, soft skin against his and it's like a euphoric rush. It reminds him of Rhyme, of his time doing drugs, of everything that Aoba has come to stand for and more. He swallows it all down with a large gulp. "…Yeah?"

"I can get it," Aoba huffs. A cute blush forms on his cheeks and he stands. But, of course, by doing so he's closed the distance between them and is now standing awkwardly close to Noiz, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they both weren't in their sleeping clothes and had messy hair and sleep still clinging to their eyes.

Aoba doesn't move away and peers at Noiz's - his boyfriend's - face. "Your eyes are green," Aoba says with a tiny smile.

Noiz feels uncomfortable so he looks away, but he doesn't have the heart to _move_ away. His heart soars and his cheeks turn pink. "Yeah? So?"

"They're cute. I'm used to seeing brown eyes," Aoba explains, fingertips closing around Noiz's wrist very gently. 

"They're not--"

Aoba blinks and interrupts Noiz. "You used to have piercings, didn't you? Near your eyes."

"Yeah," Noiz responds, looking a bit astonished. 

Aoba smiles at the recaptured memory and leans up on the tips of his toes to plant a featherlight kiss to Noiz's turned cheek. "Thanks again, Noiz. For, y'know…putting up with me." He lets him go and heads over to go fetch himself a bowl, milk, and some cereal.

Noiz is left standing there, face a deep scarlet, as if it's the first time Aoba has ever kissed him. And in a sense, it is. He smiles, just quickly, just once, and settles on getting himself some juice.

*!*

Tae shows up and she isn't sure what to say at first. The lack of recognition in her grandson's eyes hurt but when she looks to Noiz she realizes he's been in this type of pain for the past day. She avoids meeting his gaze directly from that point on and shuffles into the apartment, clutching the bags she refused to let Noiz carry for her on the way here.

"Can you get an old woman some water? I'm parched," she begins, looking to Aoba who has been sitting guilty on the couch ever since they got back to the apartment. Tae watches as her grandson jerks up and heads quickly into the kitchen, glad for some sort of reprieve. It doesn't take a genius to see the tears welling up in Aoba's eyes and that the poor kid needs a reason to excuse himself to cope with his overwhelming emotions.

*!*

"At least he seems in good spirits."

They both know those are empty words. Tae stands akimbo near the couch Aoba just fled from and she stares over at Noiz. Noiz chews nervously at his bottom lip and shrugs, uncertain how to respond to that at first. It takes him a solid minute to brain an answer.

"I'm sorry. If I hadn't dragged Aoba with me to Germany he wouldn't--"

"Stop." Tae cuts him off, loudly clearing her throat.

"Granny?"

"That's not the same attitude you had when you sat in my kitchen and asked to steal away my grandson." She sets her gaze firmly on his, at long last, and Noiz feels his core shiver. "Aoba loves you. You and I both know that. He won't give up on his memories. Not when he knows it's hurting someone he knows he cares about."

"That's…"

"Besides," Tae continues as she paces across the living room and sits in the chair. "Aoba's recovered from worse."

They both know it's true. "I don't know what to do," he admits quietly.

"Love him. And be patient. You young kids are so impatient," she huffs.

Noiz cracks a tiny grin. And then says sincerely, "Thank you." 

*!*

Aoba watches as Tae plays with Ren, standing at the entrance of the room, petting him as he hops up on the chair with her. He can hear them talking but he can't quite make out the words. He jumps when Noiz is suddenly at his side, staring alongside him. 

"Sorry."

"It's fine," Noiz says and then smiles fondly at the old woman. "I didn't know she liked that old model as much as you do."

"I guess." Aoba cracks a tiny smile and looks down at his feet. "How long is she staying?"

"She hasn't said," Noiz says and looks out the window this time. "I guess awhile."

Until you remember, is what they both hear. "Okay…"

"Relax. She's your family. Don't act like she's going to bite your head off," Noiz mumbles and gently nudges Aoba's middle back, trying to coax the young man forward back into the room. "Talk to her."

"Brat…" Aoba murmurs back at him, trying to stave off a blush.

And just like that Aoba heads over to his grandmother, hands nervously laced behind his back, eyes filled with guilt. Noiz merely watches, wondering, thinking, hoping he won't be forgotten, won't be left behind.

Because it's happened too many times already.

*!*

It's been a few days and Aoba hasn't gotten any better. Tae's still hanging around the apartment, refusing to budge until her grandson remembers, and she adamantly asserts that he will. Noiz's hopes vary day by day and he swears that in some moments he can see a flicker of recognition in Aoba's bright eyes. He hasn't wanted something so badly in years. It's breaking him.

It's the third day of Tae's visit, actually the evening of, and Aoba is quietly seating himself on the edge of Noiz's - their - bed. He reaches forward to strip off his socks and then tie his hair back into a ponytail, preparing himself for bed.

Noiz has already passed out at this point, too exhausted from the day. They had gone around the city with Tae, trying to make the best out of a grim situation. Aoba had been happy and had seemed okay during all of it, but Noiz was fairly certain that it exhausted him not to remember anything. It must drain on a person entirely.

Curiously, Aoba looks over to the other side of the bed and watches as his 'boyfriend' sleeps. He's absurdly cute and less bristly when he's laying there, defenseless, and Aoba finds himself smiling.

Without much of a thought on the matter he shifts on the bed and ends up cuddled against Noiz's side. His hand reaches out and traces along Noiz's strong jawline and then into his fluffy blonde hair. It's amazingly soft and Aoba shuts his eyes, letting the feel of it wash over him. He can smell Noiz's cologne from earlier that day, faint but still present. There's an underlying scent of something sweet, too, and it almost makes Aoba laugh.

Noiz ends up stirring awake, bright green eyes opening to stare over at Aoba who has been carding his hand through Noiz's hair for the past ten minutes or so.

"You're sleeping here tonight?" Noiz asks, eyes wide with surprise and yet still heavy from sleep and pain.

"I guess…" Aoba trails off, his face turning bright red in the darkness. The thought hadn't actually occurred to him until now that by laying in bed with Noiz he was effectively committing himself to staying here the night. It makes him fluster.

"You don't have--"

Noiz is cut off as Aoba leans over and presses a hesitant but warm kiss to his lips. 

The room stops spinning and the weight on Noiz's shoulders temporarily lifts. There's a rush of emotion that runs through him and ends up down in his toes, making them curl. His heartbeats turn frantic and he reaches out tentatively as if afraid that touching too soon will shatter the perfect moment.

Aoba lets him, though, and even leans into the gentle touch to his face. Noiz's hands aren't as soft as his hair and he vaguely as inklings of memories of why they're so rough. _You should take better care of yourself, you brat_ flutters through his mind and Aoba deepens the kiss, the familiarity of the thought making his heart soar.

Noiz kisses back eagerly, hand resting on the nape of Aoba's neck as they kiss. He scoots just a bit closer, allowing their chests to bump as they kiss. Aoba's leg somehow ends up hooking around his and they're just so close, so warm, and Noiz can pretend that everything is normal just for this second.

It's Aoba who breaks the kiss first, burying his face down against Noiz's shoulder.

He knows Aoba's crying.

No one has to say it and they both ignore it, Noiz's fingers gently sifting through Aoba's hair to try and calm him.

"Aoba," he begins, trying to reassure him that he'll be patient, that it's fine, that Aoba doesn't need to push himself. "You--"

Aoba's sobbing increases and he tips his head back, usually such bright eyes flooded with tears. He grips tightly onto Noiz's arms and keeps him close, trying to choke back his sobs. It takes him a minute to compose himself long enough.

"Aoba?"

"I'm sorry, Noiz. I'm sorry I forgot," he whispers.

"Aoba. Stop apologizing. You don't--"

"I remember."

He whispers it and then kisses Noiz again, this time hot and searing and filled with apologies and promises to make everything better. His heart and head are throbbing and he just wants to stay pressed to Noiz and his lips forever. His arms drop from Noiz's arms to hug him tighter as he parts his lips, allowing Noiz to do as he pleases, have as much of him as he wants because Aoba feels like he's let him down and that he's the worst boyfriend ever. 

Noiz takes the invite and greedily bites and nips at Aoba's lips and slips his tongue inside, curling it against Aoba's. He hears the soft moan from his boyfriend and he shifts, moving to pin Aoba down against the bed below him.

The kiss breaks in the meantime.

"Aoba, Aoba," Noiz repeats adoringly, kissing along Aoba's cheek and jaw and nose. "I love you so much," he whispers, as if it's a prayer. His hands trace every single curve and inch of Aoba and his lips begin claiming all of it, too, his nightmare finally coming to an end. This is reality. Aoba is still here.

Aoba is still his.

Aoba remembers.

It's all going to be okay.

"I love you, too, Noiz. I'm sorry. I'll make it better now, I promise."

Meanwhile, in the guest bedroom, Tae puts in her earplugs and rests her head back down against the pillow, smiling to herself. Boys will be boys. One day they'll listen to Old Grandma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS TRAINWRECK.  
> i hope you enjoyed it?!?  
> leave kudos and comments or whatever.


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